Wow.
After two and a half months of living in the city that never sleeps, I’m now sitting at my gate at JFK, waiting to fly back home. I feel like I’m in a strange state of shock, like an animal that has been taken out of its natural habitat only to be plunked in another strangely familiar yet foreign one. My head has been swimming with reminiscences of my time in New York faster than I can fully comprehend. It feels like I just got here and my departure is still so far off. But it’s not. It’s in approximately an hour. Weirrrrrrrrrrd.
This summer has been one of the most intense, overwhelming, terrifying, and wondrously amazing seasons that I’ve ever experienced. Living with my aunt both gave me the comfort of family in a foreign land and a freedom to be on my own more than I ever had before. I felt like a real adult in this big bad city, but the knowledge of coming home to a friendly face made every night something I looked forward to. Being with her also allowed me the chance to get to know a woman who is perhaps one of the most incredible people I’ve ever met, and reinforce the powerful impact of family in my life. I will always be grateful to her for this amazing bonding experience that I will forever hold close to my heart.
From both internships to spontaneous explorations, I think I’ve learned many things about myself this summer. For me, I’ve found that there is such an empowering joy that comes along with being alone. In our society, we are taught that loneliness is a bad thing. I’ve learned that it’s rather a wonderful time for exploration, reflection, and self discovery. When I’m alone, I’m open to meeting new people and trying new things more so than I would be if I was with another person. In this mindset, I’ve befriended some incredible people from all different walks of life. Although a few floated in and out of my life as more of a passing gift, I’ve also met some people that I will strive to stay in touch with. Like my darling mother always says, you must find your village within your city. My motley crew of friends have provided me with a haven of sorts, and for them I will look back at this summer with such fondness.
I’ve participated in the rat race of adulthood, and realized how gratifying and exhausting that can be. It gives me a greater respect for my friends and family members who do what they do, and uncovered a greater uncertainty in what I want to do and be when I grow up. As terrifying as that is, I’m starting to come to terms with the fact that I’m okay with that.
Throughout the past two months, there’s also been a curious string of people who continued to share tokens of wisdom that they’ve accrued throughout their lives. No matter the person, many snippets of such experiences come back to the importance of finding something in life that you enjoy doing. For me, I realized that writing is a major force in my life that brings me joy.
For so long, I refused to write anything other than analytical essays for my classes because I was paralyzed by fear. The thought of creating something trite or just awful became too hard to bear, so I often rationalized that it would be better not to write anything at all. By challenging myself to write two entries per week, this blog has helped me to find my voice and to realize the importance of stretching my story-telling abilities.
This brings me to my next point. I want to thank all of you for reading about my silly little adventures and postulations on daily life. It’s given me a selfish sort of joy to be able to share my stories with you, and I hope that you’ve been entertained, learned a bit, or even had a good laugh at my expense. Laughter is important.
Although this marks the end of my time living in New York and thus the end of this blog, I’m confident that I will be back at some point--both in the city and in the written word. This is not “goodbye;” I hate those. Instead, this is “see you later,” because that leaves room for the most wonderful kind of potential. Who knows what the future has in store? Until we find out, I hope that you all find happiness, adventure, and solace in the things that you enjoy most.
Always,
Allie
